I once attended a personal development course, that didn’t go well, for many reasons. It was probably the one time that I should have requested a refund. I didn’t, simply because I felt that would have been in the ‘way too difficult’ basket! I had trusted a friend’s enthusiasm, on this particular investment. The course was a great match for them, in some ways, but it was a poor choice for me. Just not a good fit at all really. Run by people who not only demonstrated a distinct lack of professionalism, (and in the end, basic ethics), but who very obviously had learnt a few things which in their own eyes had elevated them to expert status, when in fact they were beginners.

It was when we were asked to visualise tying up our ego, then to put it in a box and chain it up, and pad lock it shut, and then drop it into the depths of the ocean…that I had the sickening realisation that I had allowed myself to pay for the displeasure of being taught by amateurs masquerading as gurus. After which, I relayed my concerns to my friend. I stayed for the last day, despite my reservations, merely as an exercise in learning what not to ever do by watching the mess of their program come to an end.

The ensuing mess for my friend, who had become entangled with these charlatans on a business level, was enough for me to not ever question that what they taught held no value for anyone seeking to develop themselves personally and spiritually.

I shun away from anything that suggests the ego is bad. An unchecked ego is one that can lend itself to letting the blind think they can lead, as in the above story. Thus, I maintain, after much study into tantric, yogic and other philosophies, that ego, in and of itself, is not a bad thing to be destroyed or banished.

In the yogic tradition we refer to the ego as ahamkara, the ‘I-maker’. It is considered one of four functions of the mind. It functions to give us a sense of ‘I-am-ness’, or identity, to our human experience. However, in this function of providing individuality, it can also create a sense of separation, which can lead to suffering. In short, it helps keeps us safe, especially in our less evolved states of being, but can be the grand master of self-destruction if not kept in check.

Ego can become imbalanced when it takes the impressions of the lower mind (manas) which have been clouded by excessive doubts and incorrect perceptions, which then creates memories stored in chitta (our memory bank) that are incorrect, and which then makes it difficult for our higher mind (buddhi) to discern wisely.  This process, when messy provides distorted views of life and the ego reacts accordingly.

So, it is not about getting rid of ego…it is about cleaning up this process.

We do this by beginning to witness the four functions of the mind, and clarifying this whole process so that buddhi can discern wisely.

The ego does not need to be killed…it needs to be befriended and trained. We need to remove the obstacles that make it difficult to see things as they really are.

We tend to think of ego as described by Swamij, like the decorations of a house – the paint, the trimmings, the design…rather than the house itself – the foundations and structure. When out of control the ego incorrectly identifies the decorations to be important, when in fact, the structure is what is of real value. An untrained ego relies upon the importance of the decorations. A trained ego realises the value of the underlying structure.

Yoga teaches us how to train the mind to go beyond itself…beyond the incorrect perceptions, the clouded memories and poor judgements. The mind is a gift…if we use it correctly. We need to raise our level of consciousness. We need to wake-up from mindless living. We need to stop reacting to our incorrect perceptions and start responding appropriately by fine-tuning our powers of observation.

Mindfulness…is part of this process. The practice of which begins to unveil to us the truth…rather than our impressions of the world seen through clouded lenses.

The Yoga Sutras, penned by Sage Patanjali over 2000 years ago, tells us to practice the art of concentration (dharana) so that we may experience the mind as being still. Uninterrupted, ongoing, complete stillness of the mind in modern life is unlikely. A useful aim is to master the ego, rather than letting our self be a slave to it; to simply observe our thoughts, rather than being at their mercy; to learn to discern rather than react involuntarily; to inquire rather than unconsciously judge.

This brings us to the realisation that we are more than our wants and desires, more than our thoughts and feelings, more than our body…we are the being that observes all of this at play.

So don’t be tricked into tying up your ego and submerging it in a locked box at sea…for this will only chain you to the dark depths of shadows and misperceptions.

Instead, be patient…look within and quiet your mind. Befriend your ego.